This film is my childhood. Forget general disability this film not only represents my attitude with CF and relationships, but it also shaped a lot of my childhood too.

Growing up the skinny disabled kid wasn't as difficult for me as much as you may think. Sure, the very frequent hospital admissions made me incredibly independent. Even now I hate asking for help...without trying to fix it myself (please reach out when you need help when you need it. There is no shame asking for help, somethings we simply can’t do by ourselves).

This film was my "disability comfort film" seeing a skinny outcast bizarrely resonated in me... wonder why haha. Hercules showed me that its ok to be different and if you have goals, you can achieve them if you try hard and sometimes its ok if you can't. He had so much I wanted growing up, he was strong popular, and he had found love (which for a kid little lad that had a doll growing up so he could practice being a dad was very appealing). The only problem was it put the idea in my head that to be loved, to be strong and achieve my goals I had to be strong. Not metaphorically or spiritually but physically. So, after a word with my dietitian, I learned I had to gain weight and be physically active until the day I can start lifting weights and fighting monsters. 

I would eat loads. I had a Hercules Jar that contained this supplement for adding calories to every meal. I didn't know how to pronounce it, so it was my Hercules powder. I loved climbing trees at little swiss, going out in nature and I tried all sorts of martial arts classes (I Stopped most of them until I turned 14 and later became a bad ass Karate instructor) and played a lot of basketball. That was mostly because the film Space Jam but that's a different story. ​

This was a big problem... at first. It wasn't long before I found some goals just can't be achieved no matter how hard you fight, train, or wish. This was crushing for young me. Until I watched it again as a young teen, Hercules didn't achieve his goals because he was strong physically, it was his heart. His willingness to fight the losing battle, sacrificing everything for the ones he loved. It also showed me that sometimes aiming for these impossible goals may lead to finding something better. It was his goal to become a god again to be with his family, but it was his journey that led him to realise his true goal. to be with the woman he loves. 

I guess it’s pretty clear these messages are still with me. I'm willing to fight for things like curing Diabetes and Cystic fibrosis. I know I’ll never win but maybe, just maybe I will find something better