BELIEVER
This song has always stood out to me and I feel it fits with my whole attitude to CF. Ill break down each verse ( there is a lil Wayne version but I haven’t heard that one. For this break down I am including the lyrics from their music video featuring Dolph Lundgren as he gives a extra line of dialog I feel sums up another key aspect of CF).
First things first
I'ma say all the words inside my head
I'm fired up and tired of the way that things have been, oh ooh
The way that things have been, oh ooh
(This is quiet an easy one. This is my attitude to people still dying and suffering with CF. Its my drive to help with research, talk with students on hospital wards and giving then good understanding of CF so they can go off and give patients the best standard of care they can, and raise money for charities too.)
Second things second
Don't you tell me what you think that I could be
I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea, oh ooh
The master of my sea, oh ooh
(This to me speaks of when I was growing up, I was always told what I can’t do because of my CF. I can’t swim in certain places because of bacteria, I cant go and do certain things because I’ll be in hospital, careers I wanted to peruse etc. Now I understand that we can’t literally do anything but my philosophy is there’s always ways around, compromises that could be made or work you can do. Look at Ben Mudge and Sophie Holmes who aren’t just fit by CF terms but have been fitness models and Ben has been on the cover of Men’s health magazine. Arron Abby a UFC fighter, we’ve had professional singers and dancers, one guy lifted literally 1 million Kilograms in 24 hours for charity while having CF. I was told I wouldn’t see 16 with getting MRSA so young. I’m currently kicking ass at 29. So, who are you to say we cant do something?!)
I was broken from a young age
Taking my sulking to the masses
Writing my poems for the few
That look at me, took to me, shook to me, feeling me
Singing from heartache from the pain
Taking my message from the veins
Speaking my lesson from the brain
Seeing the beauty through the...
Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
Pain!
You break me down, you build me up, believer, believer
Pain!
Oh let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My life, my love, my drive, it came from...
Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
(Now we get to the chorus. This to me represents the blog itself or any sort of media we with CF makes. Clare Wineland was amazing at this, she was a wonderful person and an amazing Activist. I highly recommend checking her out. I also get some symbolism here too. Taking the message to the veins, while reaching metaphorically, gives me images of the countless bloods been taken and IV treatments me and others have had over the years. My veins being pretty poor and used up by the early age of 9 requiring me to have my first portacath placed at 10. And finally seeing the beauty in the pain. To me studying philosophy I studied many philosophers and their views on suffering from Nietzsche with his “To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in suffering” he believed its bound with us as creatures and it’s what makes us grow and change. It makes us better and I see how it can make us beautiful.)
Third things third
Send a prayer to the ones up above
All the hate that you've heard has turned your spirit to a dove, oh ooh
Your spirit up above, oh ooh
(Quite simple again. These lines reminds me of all our friends and loved ones that have passed from CF. The hate is of CF itself and how it takes so many lives still.)
I was choking in the crowd
Building my rain up in the cloud
Falling like ashes to the ground
Hoping my feelings, they would drown
But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing
Inhibited, limited
Till it broke open and rained down
It rained down, like...
(I thought the imagery of chocking quite fitting with CF but the imagery with the ashes is quite abstract. From the research I’ve done there are theories out there that suggest that the gene mutations for CF was due to the Plague, even leading to the myth that it has now made us immune to it. Now when I think of the plague I imagine the ashes, probably from the nursery rhyme ring around the roses. Coincidentally roses are also symbolic of CF)
Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
Pain!
You break me down, you build me up, believer, believer
Pain!
Oh let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My life, my love, my drive, it came from...
Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
Last things last
By the grace of the fire and the flames
You're the face of the future, the blood in my veins, oh ooh
The blood in my veins, oh ooh
(To me I picture the kids today getting diagnosed with CF, we have gone through our fire and flames, our struggles and lack of treatments but by grace we have got so much to celebrate now and new treatments for us all. There will be your own struggles but it’s still really fulfilling to know how different life with CF can be from now on. The blood in my veins makes me think with us all having CF and getting diagnosed with CF by blood tests, in some way we share the same blood… kinda. But enough to see you all as family. Blood brothers and sisters and sibs. Apologies I not sure the gender neutral word.)
But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing
Inhibited, limited
Till it broke open and rained down
It rained down, like...
(This part it cuts to Dolph and the other boxer talking. The boxers says I want to stop, were Dolph replies “we can’t” and its true we cant stop. We cant stop taking our meds and treatments to fight for a good way of living, we cant stop pushing ourselves mentally to keep a positive attitude and most importantly we cant stop the fight for the cure for everyone with CF. “We fight until CF stands for CURE FOUND”
Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
Pain!
You break me down, you build me up, believer, believer
Pain!
Oh let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My life, my love, my drive, it came from...
Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
The fighting shows how Cf can literally feel like a fight as there’s been times CF literally kicks our ass. DNA at the beginning is symbolic of our genetic sequences for Cf and through out it shows the two boxers being built (virtually in this case) but to be it symbolises how as much as I hate to admit it, it makes up every fibre of our being. From our genes, all the way through to our disappointments, our losses, our hopes, and our dreams.