Goodbye 💛

It saddens me to say my Nana has passed away. Im not someone who posts my greif on social media but as this is a blog on my life, she deserves a part on here.

So rather than airing my sadness, I'd rather tell you a few loving memories I have of her. Firstly, I loved going to visit her. My Great Grandad worked in the navy, I don't remember much of him aside from being pretty intimidated by him. He was a fantastic carpenter and would build us toys and these amazing detailed wooden ships. I told Nana last year I missed seeing them and she said "You tell me now. I got rid because they was taking up too much room!" Haha

So aside from the boats, crystal animal collection and lets face it the smell of smoke they are what always reminds me of her home as I was little.

As a person, she was a typical Nan. By that I mean Im sure she was competing with the queen and Betty white for women that seemed to have scared off Death itself. Although 2022 has been a bad year for immortal Old ladies... look out lizzy 😅

It wasn't hard to make her smile. The last few years I loved asking her questions on her life and her parents etc. As many fun stories she had I only remember two vividly. The first how she started dating Grandpa Eddie. Him and his friend was back on shore and his friend was going on a date with a friend of my Nana. She said she only agreed so she didn't have to go alone... I love that, the unexpected pairings. (Shortly I was speak of my Great grandma on my dads side and her unexpected partnership with my Great grandad on my dads side).

The second story was a breif one and not even that interesting but it never failed to make her laugh. She visits our relatives in Australia and New Zealand fairly regularly. They live on them huge farms you hear about. The size where the neighbours live a couple hundred miles away. She said Im welcome to visit any time if Im willing to help out on the farm. Im not sure if she was joking about that last part but I didn't want to risk heat stroke playing cowboy.... or the spiders 😅

Anyway she was visiting a nature reserve and whilst you're free to walk about you needed to be aware of the wildlife that will often just "mingle" sometimes. In this case there was a few kangaroos kicking about (get it? Kicking? Nope? Ah well it may be a little funnier in a sec) anyway my Nanas eye was caught by a man who had dropped his ice cream as he was having an encounter with a kangaroo. I think you already know what is gunna happen but.... yep. He went to pick it up and the kangaroo kicked his butt as he bent over to get it. Now reading it back doesn't sound as funny. Nana herself said the story wasn't that funny. But the look on her face as she recalled the site of a kangaroo kicking a grown mans bum as he bent over to pick up and ice cream was enough to make anyone laugh along 😄

Im gutted I didn't get to say a proper goodbye. I wasn't allowed to visit while she was in hospital. There was discussions of a phone call or maybe a facetime but it didn't happen. We did speak briefly while she was in there but it wasn't a proper goodbye. She even promised to come to my graduation next year, I'll find a way to make that happen.

While im posting about loss, Id like to mention my other Great grandma that I never got to say goodbye to. I never saw much of her in truth but her stories of my family history was incredible. Her dad (I think) packing up the family to move to Canada. Smoked a peice pipe with an native Indian tribe and befriending a wolf. No joke ive seen photos. He also thought his family had died after coming back to see the house buried in snow to the point just a bit of chimney popping out. Did he get help? Maybe but from what I heard he just packed up and came back to the UK 🤦 or the story of her brother who got shot in WW2 who was a pilot and got shot in the neck helping his friend.

But the best story I remember was how she ended up with my great grandad. She was actually dating 2 men. She liked them both but my great Grandad rode "a cool motorbike" so she chose him 😅... true love. Although looking back at photos of them I know she made the right choice 💛

Im sorry I didn't get to say goodbye and it hurts this is likely not the last time I can't say goodbye to loved ones due to my CF. I hope new I loved them and Im so grateful I started praying and looking to God little over a year ago. I know they are in good hands up there. Enjoying time with my G' Grandads and looking down on me. I hope I can make them proud and share their lives with others. I miss them dearly.

My great auntie has asked if she can be buried with the picture of G'Grandad, I found out today she kept it framed on her bedside table. I never knew it meant that much to her.

I may get a tattoo in remembrance of them both. I'll have to think of something fitting.

I may have some more upbeat news next time I post but for now I want to thank you for reading this.

Goodbye 💛