Just venting to help me sleep. (You don't need to read this one)

Hay guys I just wanted to vent a little. If Im totally honest my life right now isn't in the best state. Financially Im in a poor state for reasons out of my control, my health is pretty good but my weight is low and I don't have the effort to fight that right now, so training simply for the endorphins isnt really an option right now. Work is more of a stress than it is fun and I don't get paid nearly enough for the amount of extra work ive had to take on. Sleep is beyond poor to the point Im considering seeing a medical professional for exploring some medication options. My day to day stress has resulted in my eye twitching constantly, I get random spots and I have a really short temper. Something I never had before and I don't like this side of me. Thankfully, Im aware of it so Im not directing it to anyone. I just don't like my life or who I am right now, in this point in time. I just feel numb and on top of that I feel partly guilty for feeling like this. Hence why im talking on here. This isn't a place I write down my feelings like it was originally. So if you're reading this J, you really don't have to. Its purely a rant for my sake not for people to read.

That being said im trying really hard to escape this, im focusing on what im thankful for, Like my parents for their support when I need them, my brother who has been a massive support financially until Tee gets a back into work. She has a couple of interviews next week so she'll be back into work properly by next month. My mental health seemed to improve when I focused on my vitamin D levels, something that can affect mental health and I have a track record of needing annual infusions for. Plus I still pray every night. For those that don't know I started going to church, praying nightly, and studying the bible just over 2 years ago. I found the whole process a massive help during another dark time in my life so its something I wanted to maintain. Although I can't attend my church as I work all weekend but I still speak to the owners and may start guiding short tours around the building now the floors have been updated (I mean they were put in in the Victorian times so it was a little overdue haha). Anyway I think im ready to sleep now ive got this off my chest and I'll probably delete this next time I write something for either the blog or the site itself. Im writing about another TV show ive been watching with my sister.

Oh and on top of that its my birthday in just over a week. Something like a year and 9 days (its on the first of feb) ill be 30!

Me, 30?!

I get ID'd for energy drinks if I shave this poor excuse I call facial hair off 😅

I'll have to post something on my birthday about it being my last year in my 20's. Fingers crossed ill be in a better place by then so I can at least enjoy it.

Anyway, goodnight again. Sweet dreams people. Thanks for listening. Stay safe 💛💛

https://open.spotify.com/track/7vSn3VNbzOtPebdj6ZSebj?si=-aTTILjuQUyiPmSCYXx_Ww&utm_source=copy-link