Little update

Hi, so a little update on my love life

Im in that weird situation where im seeing someone its not a relationship but lets say we're more than friends. And to be a little crude the physical side of things is really good. I think after my last relationship I am more free and less self conscious. Even with the girl I was seeing about a year ago. The physical side of things was good too but I did feel uncomfortable at times and the dirty talk I was saying did make me cringe.

I admit I was in my head about this whole thing and I spoke to some of my female friends about it. See there is a age gap she's 19. Which makes me feel gross but that being said it has its benefits (nothing semi pedophilic) I have always avoided relationships because of the life expectancy side of things. With her being 19 lets say we end up official and get married. Should I only have 10-15 years left then its not too late for her to find a happy and fulfilling relationship after Im gone. On top of that it kinda just happened. Her ex has accused her of sleeping with me after I dropped her off home and used the toilet. Yes he thought we had slept together in the 30 seconds it took me to piss. Oh and she had also spent the night at mine but I had made sure we won't be in contact. I slept under the duvet in the heat while she slept on top and I get her a blanket. Nothing happened but we woke up spooning. Apparently in my unconscious sleeping state I wanted a little cuddle 🤣

I was speaking to my close friend Lillie about this and our hope and dreams etc. She said she would really like kids one day. She would be an amazing mom. I said growing up I would have always loved a wife and kids but honestly I think its too late in the game for me.

But anyway so far the girl im seeing now also communicates well is open and fun. The situation is probably the most healthy I've ever had. That being said we both have only known each other 3 weeks so are not playing it like we're head over heals.

She even got drunk one time and openly said she gets attached quickly but there is no way in hell she's falling in love in less than a few months.

So far the only red(ish) flag happened last night. My ex tee has been messaging me after she had gotten back with her ex and is already having problems. I am open with my phone so I let her use it. She asked me to take a photo. She sent it to tee. That I didn't mind, tee then asked why she/I was sending it to her. Sam (oh her name is Sam btw) sent a sticker saying something like your time is up- shut the fuck up.

That may have crossed the line. Only because I don't want drama. Ive told Lillie and Beth and they agree while it was maybe a bit rude its not wrong. Why would you still be messaging your ex.

I admit I would have blocked tee the night she said she had slept with matt. The only reason she is still in my life is because she still hasn't paid a single penny in 2 years for the £10,000 she owes me.

After that I have no reason to have her on any socials. Although even if she paid me £100 a month it would take her around 8 years to pay it all back.

Ohhh I didn't even mention the most awkward part within hours after tee screenshot the chat she has found Sam on tiktok. She has her profile views off so I couldn't even tell she was viewing my tiktoks so thats weird. Still not as bad as the one from lockdown viewing my blog over 250 times in like 3 years. That being said when I asked she claimed it was actually her ex viewing it. And after that day hasn't viewed it in like 2-3 years now.

Anyway lets see where this takes me and how much drama im gunna get from tee now 🙄 still im glad I have good friends that support me. Just need to get Sam friends with my closest friends like Lillie and Becca because thats important to me.

Sam- this is sam, im so amazing hi guys