Pattern repeats again... probably

So yet another love life update sprinkled in with a general update about ny life and my free time. So where to start?

So firstly things got even worse with my dad and for a long time he was being horrible to both me and my brother but mostly Alex how is the kinda spokesperson for us because both of us explaining to him the situation or trying to help him snap out his episodes makes him feel ganged up on for the majority of all this it has mostly been Alex. So as a result he is taking the brunt of the abuse. But that being said when he is out his episodes he is trying to get help. He's had a single session with let's talk again but already he's analysing that and trying to predict what they will say or do to try and talk himself out of it arguing they can't help. Like he has looked into what the difference between a psychologist, a psychiatrist, a councillor etc etc and think that they will only talk about what he said they specialise in. Like he said psychologists look at your childhood and ask questions like how did that make you feel etc. Basic what we see on tv. But even when Ive explained I've been in therapy is its a lot different than the TV references he's seem he's still sceptical.

Still right now he's not in a episode and have a visit from us, my sister and her boyfriend.

Oh yeah she's been seeing a guy for a few months, he's a good lad. We like him 😊

Now for the biggest change recently is my social life. From going out to watch the England vs Norway game I have made some new friends that I see very regularly. So much so im getting in at early hours most nights now. Also my CF wife Beth has also been joining us (making sure we're doing that as safely as we can. Sitting on other sides of the room wearing masks etc when we have to be close for whatever reason etc. It is nice... and tiring 😅

On top of that things have maybe escalated with these too. I will say to begin with I never started hanging out with these people in pursuit of a romantic or sexual relationship, and as it stands none of that has happened yet. Although I have kissed one of them and im fairly positive the other one may want something physical too. The big problem is they are still younger than I go for and they are both getting out of or in bad relationships. Typically both their ex/partners have automatically had an issue with me before anything happened.

I have always hated guys like that. How many women do I know that have said their partners don't like me while im actively trying to support their relationships and giving advice on how they can work through any issues. It is only when my friend would say they crossed the line and have become single that I would even entertain the idea of giving their partners something to actually be jealous of. Until then while they might not believe it im also on their side. I know she won't mind me saying her name as a positive example but my old colleague summer and I are pretty close. I would drive her home and we would often spend a good hour parked outside hers catching up before she would go inside. We're comfortable around each other and she sees me as a safe place when she's maybe drunk or in a bad situation. Then we have her boyfriend. He has never had a problem with me or felt insecure about our friendship. It has honestly been so refreshing. While I haven't met him

... yet. He has drinks on me and Id see him as an equal level of friend as summer herself. We need more guys like that. Not guys that people come to be to complain about and then get mad at me for being there for their girlfriends when they are the ones that should be working on their relationships.

Anyway rant of shitty boyfriends over. I'll kinda end with a prediction. While I do struggle with finding love or even new friends there have been more than a few times things develop with more than one person for a few weeks. Its when this happens I feel guilty for even talking to more than one woman, my social battery half's and I actively avoid being initiate with any of them and I end up not having a relationship with anyone. So I can see this happening here. Not only are my two new friends still just friends but they are really close with each other. Having only known them for a short while I don't want to seem like the guy that turns up and sleeps around the friend group or just waits for the first one to have a simpler situation so I can pursue that one. So right now my plan is just continue being a friend and if I pick up one of them catching feelings etc I'll probably distance myself unless we manage to clearly communicate with each other. Which rarely happens now a days.

In my experience women love a man who communicates but have no skills in communicating themselves. Im 100% sure women will say the same as me about men so I'll stick with everyone is just shitty 😅

So thats everything really. Just a prediction that my lovelies will get a lot more complicated for a little while and goes right back to nothing. Although its nice speaking to anyone that doesn't know or has had any contact with my ex so zero chance of snooping unless she reads this.

At which point I may become a villain and pretend not to care about my new friends and organise a 4 way. Im sure they'll be down 🤣

Anyway hope you get that image out your head. Hope you're all doing well x

Update: literally less than 12 hours later. Im not gunna be talking to the one I kissed again. Long story short. There's a bit of drama and im too old for that shit 🤣